i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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