He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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