im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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