i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
