He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We left the knife in your bed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
