so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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