your room smells of hookers.
And success
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You have to summon your inner elephant
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
