is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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