Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
