if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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