On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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