there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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