the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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