Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
