oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
