bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
