I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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