i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
