tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
