everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
