and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
