He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
