If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
