i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
