dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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