My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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