I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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