We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize