Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
