You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
