All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
