Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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