My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
