How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
