I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
