where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
