I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
