Yo dont text me then not text me
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
