how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
