Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
