my sisters under your porch take her home
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
