What a fucking waste of an outfit
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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