after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
