I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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