I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
