Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
