dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
