Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
