Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
