my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
