She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
