Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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