Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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