sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
